I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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