my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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