yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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