Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
