My friends, they love my intelligence
He is an equal opportunity slut.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
