Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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