Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
