watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
