apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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