Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize