so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
