Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize