so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
