ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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