I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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