It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
