Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
