I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Randomize
