guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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