Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Randomize
