I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize