escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
