I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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