It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
