Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
