Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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