So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
