Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
