Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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