yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
