Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
