She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
