I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
