Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
ttyl tear gas
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
