Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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