Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
