you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
