He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
