i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize