Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
