i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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