My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
