so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
