we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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