So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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