I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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