If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
