i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
