He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
