stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize