new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
