I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
