At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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