Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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