So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
