I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
