Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
