It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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