..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
