Tell her she can't have a vagina
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I believe in your delicious
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize