things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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