I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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