I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
