So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
