After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
