im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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