Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
