I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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