Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize