Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
